1) Create a google account by clicking here: Create an account

If you’re already on gmail you don’t have to do this step, go instead to create account with existing gmail fill in your email and password then click on “create an account” this will skip to you about step 5 or 6 below

If you already have an account you will only be able to click on “sign in” from that last link which will bring you further down the line, probably step 10, 11 or 12

2) Fill in the form:

google account create

3) Create a public google profile

After the last form continue to here:

google + account creation


4) Click on “Create your profile”

Then you go here:

google + click on get started


5) Click on “Get Started”

Which brings you here:

google + click on view profile


6) Click on “view profile” which is under “personal info”

brings you here

google + click on continue


7) where you can add people, or just skip that part and click “continue” at bottom right

then you end up here:

google + follow or just click continue


8) Where you can choose to be a follower, or you can fight the power and just click “continue” again at bottom right

If you didn’t add any friends they’ll give you a chance to:

google + continue anyway


9) As if you’re going to second guess yourself. click on “continue anyway”

Then you will get to here:

google + finish


10) You can add a picture, or let people think you are a blue sphere hovering over a pencil eraser and just click “finish” at bottom right

which brings you here:

google + click on profile in the upper left hand corner


11) take the tour, or just skip it and place your mouse on “profile” in the upper left hand corner

then scroll down to “local”

google + scroll to local


12) Click on “Local”

Which brings you here:

google + click on search for restaurants, hotels, and more


13) Then you click in the box at the top that says “Search for restaurants, hotels, and more” and put in the location of the place you’re searching if it’s not there automatically in the next box over

Now you’ll end up at the page of the place you searched:

google + click on the pen


14) Click on the pencil in the top right of that little box.

Btw, that picture above is me in Taiwan in 2006. You’d think I’d get around to changing that by now.

So now you’re here:

google + publish review


15) Click on your preferred number of stars, write a review, click publish. Done.

My ancestors thank you, your congress thanks you, your country thanks you, the world thanks you, but most of all, Martha Stewart thanks you